She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
