new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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