I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
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He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
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I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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