Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I stole a fireplace last night.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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