I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
