theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize