I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
