Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
