so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
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