dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
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