Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
The power of my boobs compel you
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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