can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
