He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize