It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
