come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
