if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
