The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
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