I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
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im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
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All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize