dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Randomize