he puts the penis in happiness.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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