there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
