I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize
