dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
