Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
The air was thick with penises
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Randomize
