If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Randomize