the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Randomize
