Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
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