Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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