I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
