just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
