new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
