this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
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