guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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