Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I just sucked dick on a ferry
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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