I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
