I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
