Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
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I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
there is glitter all over my balls
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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