so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
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