I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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