SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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