Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Randomize
