I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Randomize