she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
