That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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