He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
