yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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