I'm drive I can fine osifer
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Randomize
