whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
