I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
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