just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
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