I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
