You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
You need Xanax blowdarts
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
