So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
