I wannas sexs uuuuu
Wow word travels fast.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!