Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?