I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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