Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
