I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
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I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
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I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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