I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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