the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
i think i just lost a toe
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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