i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
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